The Seven Stages of Buyers

Most of us know about the 7 stages of Grief and a lot can be understood when applying these principles to a buyer of Manhattan Real estate.

1. Shock and Denial. I would amend this for our purposes and add: Elation, then shock, then denial. First, the buyer is elated about purchaing a new home. She visualized herself by her fireplace, next to her window overlooking Central Park. She imagines the dinner parties with 50 guests and the exact shade of green she will paint her skim-coated bedroom. Pretty soon after the second or third weekend of open houses, shock and denial sets in.

She doesn't have enough for the down payment. She might not get a mortgage. What are transfer taxes anyway and why does she have to pay them? Why does she have to submit her financials to the board?

2. Pain and Guilt. Tortured by the lack of resources, our buyer second guesses herself and wonders whether she should have sold her rambling 2000 sf home with a patio, a parking spot, and a playroom. She wakes up with night sweats. She's filled with seller's remorse.

3.Anger and bargaining. Maybe it's her broker. Maybe she could get a different mortgage and have more to spend. She'll re-arrange every spreadsheet and WILL them to change.

4. Depression, reflection, lonliness. Her friends have gotten bored with open houses weeks ago. She spends way too long every night trolling the internet for new listings. (Hint: hitting refresh every five minutes probably won't find you an apartment any sooner).

5.The Upward Turn. Maybe she doesn't need a park view. Maybe she could make the closets in that pre-war work. The maintenance was good on the apartment she saw last week...

6. Reconstruction and working through. In her mind, she has created a false ideal of an apartment. But lately, she's liking more and more apartments on line, and she's able to visualize herself living in some, not all of them.

7. Acceptance and Hope. She found an apartment that she loves, she was able to trust her broker to negotiate, and she got a deal that she's thrilled with. She's moving in 2 months, and she'll invite you to her cocktail party. It may not have a Central Park View, but you can see the River from every room!